Woosh has announced it's buying land-lubbing ISP Quicksilver, and will start offering DSL accounts. Like, why? I'm tempted to make like Zidane and headbutt this maddening company. In fact I will. Stand back:

Woosh faces some terminal challenges. That triple threat in full:

1. The apparant loss of Woosh's WiMax spectrum, which offered an escape route from its current slow, proprietary TD-CDMA platform. Many thought today's hush-hush press conference would be to announce Woosh's conversion to the Intel-backed, open and superfast WiMax technology that most see as the future of wireless internet. Alas, the company is rushing in the opposite direction.

2. Coming 3G upgrades from Vodafone and Telecom that will dramatically boost their respective third generation network's speed from as soon as September (read Juha Saarinen's exclusive inside details in August PC World).

3. Local loop unbundling and the government's general jabbing of Telecom, which will stretch DSL's already huge performance lead over Woosh's current service. Especially cutting is the new legislation's 'naked DSL' provision, which will see tons of ISPs offering attractive VoIP options (VoIP being Woosh's supposed killer app).

Buying Quicksilver solves none of these problems. Now Woosh has gained around 10,000 landline customers (to take its total base to around 35,000). But that's not enough to bring any economy of scale to its new DSL-based services. So: why? Maybe Woosh is preparing to leave wireless behind. And with it, its only point of difference. Cancel that IPO. Again.