Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer today apologised for the shocking state of his company's key product. "We've spent more than twenty years blaming end users for Windows' shortcomings," Ballmer said, "but today the buck stops here."

Ballmer’s admission came after he’d been subpoenaed to give evidence in the case of Olaf Prilo, a mobile phone user critically injured by a fault in the phones’ Windows CE (WinCE) operating system. Prilo was carrying the phone in his back pocket when a system fault turned the battery pack into a miniature rocket booster. Both phone and operating system are now deeply embedded.

"If you get injured because your car has a design fault, you sue the car maker," Ballmer told a packed courtroom. "If your TV set blows up and burns down your house, you sue the set maker. But if Windows runs amok and cripples you or your business, you blame hackers, virus writers, snoops, dodgy websites, flaky hardware, incompatible drivers, other vendors, other users, yourself ... anyone but the people actually responsible. After all, we're the ones who took your money."

Ballmer - long known for his calm, well-reasoned, intelligent speeches - became tearful at times, especially when shown x-rays of the embedded phone. Engineers have traced the fault to an undocumented Windows API call designed to detect the presence of Google’s Android operating system.



Ballmer is known for his calm, well-reasoned, intelligent speeches.


Jurors were initially puzzled by Ballmer’s references to DOS 11 and DOS 12 until it was revealed that this is how Windows Vista and Windows 7 are known within the company.

Defence attorneys argued that Prilo’s phone was still usable, though recharging was a little awkward and dialling required the use of a rubber glove, but Ballmer would have none of it. "I'm going to open up the company," he declared. "Closed-source licensing is killing the software business. It's a cancer. It's Pacman-like. It just gobbles up customer dollars."

When asked who he thought the company's strategy had hurt most, Ballmer replied, "Developers, developers, developers, developers."

At the end of the hearing a still tearful Ballmer was lead from the courtroom clutching a stuffed penguin.


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